Untwisting an Already-Cooked Pretzel
/A Layman's Anecdotal Guide to Autism
I'm starting this book with a preface just because I have one request of anybody who reads this scrap from cover to cover: don't get mad. This book is full of my opinions based on my experience and practically no research. I'm not discounting any research already out there, I just want to write what I know, and this book will be filled my personal experiences and theories. So don't get mad. Please. Pretty please. If you start getting cranky mid-chapter to the point where you're saying things out loud like "Well he doesn't know shit!" or "He doesn't even have kids!" just put the book down. Close it. Burn it. Give it away. There are some subjects people can't seem to discuss without growing enraged. Politics and Religion are the biggest ones. Money and Healthcare are two of mine. I just want to see if we can get Autism off that list of topics. Angry yet? Fantastic. Here we go.
Let's start with my qualifications. I graduated Cum Laude from Virginia Commonwealth University in 2006 with a B.A. in English. I can hear you thinking it and I've heard it a thousand times: "Good luck getting a job with an English degree, idiot." I think it's important to talk about that misconception before I go any further because it's always gotten under my skin and I wasn't exactly sure why until very recently. Most people I talk to seem to think diplomas should be golden tickets that you can hand in somewhere and instantly get a job. Medical and engineering degrees tend to work that way, but most degrees don't. The piece of paper itself is practically meaningless with a B.A. What matters is the education you received on your way toward graduation day. Think about how many wildly successful people dropped out of college or even high school before going on to fame and/or fortune. Learning is important, the piece of paper is less important.
I'm glad I majored in English because being able to communicate is paramount, especially now that so much happens online. People love mocking those who have a passions for the proper use of words like ostentatious or a mathematical knowledge of grammar's inner-workings, but what the hell language do American's think they're texting in all day? Lunacy. Anyway, I'm proud I studied English and I honestly think that without my time at VCU I wouldn't be able to write this book. Now that I've prefaced and raged it's time to start the book proper.
And we're off.