When Heaven Thaws
/1.0
Crazy thing is, no one gave that old timey blessin' last time I sneezed. Been comin' in here so long only know this place and the Pit. Unless they gettin' farther apart or I'm see-sayin' things different; these my people. No one had the time!? Unless I'm going crazy or making things up; everybody got real inconsiderate!
Things are changing. They're changing too fast for me. I'm doing the same work at the same pace, but I'm more tired. Maybe people just stopped caring. I don't know when I can write again, but you stay safe Marcy.
Nicholas out
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That shine. That shine speaks, quicker, smarter, and brighter than any man living or dead. Even if they weren't paying us to dredge it up out of the pit, we'd be clawing and digging through each other to catch a glimpse of the last few scraps.of shine on this mud ball.
8.0
I knew I wanted one of her drinks before I was allowed to know what drinks were. Calhoun says that means I need reassignment, but I think Calhoun just likes her too. Prethoughts are bad times because they jump us ahead, like cutting in line during meal-time. That's what Calhoun says. He may be right always, but I think he likes it always more. Any time, she pours that fizzy stuff and it catches the tight curls round her soft head and I know that's it. Book says we get one. She looks like one to me.
Brian tried to say she was his already, but I taught him but good. He found the bad times prethought and I reassigned a few of his teeth.
And I know you thinking it's those meal-time eyes and night time lips, but it wasn't. No way. Elbows.
And can't I just see you digging knee to gut hee-hawing at my wordslips, but I mean it. When that pitcher tilted just so and that fizz filled every lonely space I saw where my elbows would fit. I told that to Calhoun and he shut his jibb-jammer just long enough to smile at me. Smile like maybe I got one right. Maybe that's how this all works. We make it together like a big 'ol ball of elbows.
8.1
Take away one scrap of fabric or throw them chunky jewels over a nasty scar and you can make a new person. All them bits had you hankerin' and clawin' at the Wrong Spot. Then you come to, pantin' and sing-sayin' how you didn't know what you was doin'. Talkin' bout Scratch crawled in your veins, make you do things. I ain't buyin' all that.
Man always know, right? Maybe ain't on the day, but that stink-sore on his insides lets a fellow know he fucked up but big. Always gets to him. Just starts in different places. That's why I don't stay mad at Meg. Often as she changes faces, she always looks beautiful to me and I know we gonna see each other again. Least until we don't. But that won't be anybody's fault. Not hers or mine, not Scratch, not even the Pit. Just how things is, no use making a big stink bout it. Nuff stink down here already.
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Daddy always said 3's portant. He'd wiggle waggle those sausage fingers in my face and say it every morning, meal, and rest. "Two ah dem, add one more, you got seven!" Acting like he'd solved some big time secret riddle, but really he just making me feel dumblike not knowing numbers.
I say it's whatever's in front of you that's most portant. Even if it's sausage fingers. Today it just happened they was 3 things I seen.
First one's that big sad makes a coal man get the streaks. And you know I mean the face, not the gaper. Lester thought he saw a shiny worth a whole year and made to reach right when the shave was swingin' back for its last pass. Down here in the muck we take whatever we can get out the sicksweet muck. Sposed to go straight up. Some the guys shave off the top skim though, make deals with Big Frank. Lester tried that and got shaved back. And don't you know he lost 3 of his wiggle-wagglers and ain't learned nothin'! Now he wants that shine even more, talkin' bout how it's his right cause he lost those fingers doing company work. I wish Daddy was still here to teach Lester that old truth.
Second one's just the muck. Whole damn stinking sponge we still trying to crawl off of. Daddy said we got close a couple times when he was still paddlin', but I think he just liked seeing big time, so his eyes soaked up light the way our land soaked up all that ancient filth. Funny thing is this. Shit started smelling good to me today.
Third one's that barmaid. She was back again today. Calhoun and Book and Lester, they all say I'm nuts. No way she sees me any way like how I'm seein' her. Say I'm stalking. Don't think so. We all go to the same watering hole. Only clean one this side of the husk, I just seen her first. Seen her right I mean. Any way, he was back again today. Maybe it means something, maybe not. I'm getting tired so that's gonna have to be it.
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